4.28.12

4.28.12 It hurts today, more than before Like my hearts been ripped out and stomped to the floor I can't find the words to describe the pain I feel My face still smiles, but my pain is real I know it's all because of the choices I've made Those are my dues, the prices I've paid the loneliness, the emptiness, the sadness inside Sometimes I succeed but it's so hard to hide To those who know my heart so well They see it firsthand, this living fucking hell Sometimes I think I'm done with this fight But I struggle and hold on with all my might They tell me tomorrow will only get better They don't know and their opinion doesn't matter The fear, the terrors, the night sweats and pain At times I wonder if I'd choose this again How easy it would be to just let it all go  Would you miss me tomorrow, would you even know That I choose to leave, that I'm really gone Three little hearts without a mom I could never hurt them in that wicked way Those three little hearts love me more than words can say But what about me I'm still completely alone When I lay down at night this space is my own My wants are so simple so easy so clear I tried to tell you but did you really hear