My daddy had a heart attack last night. Second one in almost exactly 7 years. I stayed there at the hospital until almost 7am. I got about 2 hours of sleep. I'm so exhausted.
So, here's the issue of the day:::
Last night, I was the first one at the hospital. Which did not seem to thrill the mother unit. She wasn't emotional either. His heart rate was very low and his blood pressure was off the charts. We had the whole family there, as asked, which she was happy to see my brothers and my kids. Every time I asked her if she needed anything, she didn't, from me.
I stayed with my dad till he got in his room and was stabilized. She kept telling me to leave. I said no. Not until I knew he was safe and stable for the night. She promised me she was going to stay there with him but when I went to get her a fold out bed, she did not want it. ( I thought that was strange and told her it wouldn't be comfortable sleeping in a chair.) but she wouldn't let me get a bed. I said several times she could stay with me which she said no to each time. (fine the ). So when i was leaving, i told her that I was worried if she choose to drive because she was so tired and it was the middle of the night and the weather was bad. She still said she was staying.
The kids and I went to get a bite to eat. (saw 2 old friends, well 1 friend, 1 ex...) so after we ate, I went back to the hospital. She wasn't there. Dad said she went home. He did not want me staying there and that he was just fine and go home to my babies and sleep in my bed.
This AM, when I called him, he was getting up (still alone) which yes, bugged me. I asked if I could come over in a bit and dad said n a while after the doc comes to do the tests.
When I called back a few later, mom had shown up. I talked w dad for a few and they were waiting on test results, to make sure the stints in his heart were working.
Mom texted me a little bit ago saying all was clear and dad was going to be released today!!!
I called her back. I asked her where she went last night and she straight up lied to me saying she was there with dad all night. I didn't know what to say. So then I said that I came back after dinner and to check back in and she wasn't there. She was pissed that I came back!! Told me I didn't have to.
I said said i was worried and the nurses said it was ok, especially since he couldn't sleep.
I asked her again where she was because I worried about her driving that late and that it was a stressful day for her. She then said she slept in her truck in the parking lot. I said, "oh. I didn't see your truck anywhere...". She was MAD and went off on me saying I had no right to question her and that since I became an adult she didn't ask me where I was, who I was with or what I was doing and that I had no right to do that to her. And that whatever she does and with who is none of my business. I just sat there not knowing what to fucking say to that. I said again that I was worried about her last night and she told me not to. I said fine. I won't ever ask again. She said "good. Don't. It's none of your business and I'll hold you to that...."
What the fuck!?!?!?!?
Why does she think this is a fucking competition for my dads attention? I love my dad! I have always been a daddy's girl. I know she hates that because her words and body language make it clear as glass. Why the hell does she fucking hate me so much!?!?!?!?! How can you hate your child so much and think every bit of life is a damn competition for my dads attention!?
She has hurt me so bad today. I feel so fucking angry at her for her hate and contempt towards me.
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