8.7.12

Feedback needed: to any who read.....
I had a consult with my director at work (she was just recently promoted).   She is pushing me to apply for her past position as CA supervisor. She said I could do it and I have the skills needed. I just dont think I want a salaried position again... There aren't very many of up for it and I talked to my coworker today who is also applying for it.   (yes sheila, i know we've discussed this...) lol
It felt really good to praised so positively from her, my director. I think she was shocked when I took her "constructive feedback" with a positive attitude, did not get defensive and said I would use it work harder on my relationship skills.   Coming from a (helping/social work) background where you are supposed to be empathetic to those who you work with, it's hard sometimes to turn off the sympathy towards some of our customers when then they are hurting, but we are expected to.  She reminded me that these are women who are used to being manipulative and I need to step back sometimes. I know I do.  She is aware how hard that is for me and seemed almost shocked when I asked her for suggestions on how to do that and not present as "cold" towards them.  I got a lot of positive support and feedback which I know will come in useful.
But she is really pushing me to apply for these 3 open positions within BSD that will put me in a supervisory role.  I'm not too sure if that's what I want anymore or if I'm just looking to stay where I'm at because ... Well, frankly, it's comfortable, and easy. And I really, for the most part, enjoy what I do.

I've been meeting people. Men. Dating.  It's...... Umm, interesting. This is where I find myself feeling the coldness that she said I need to identify. I'm so damn tired of getting a broken heart from every relationship I enter into.

I need sleep. Brit has bronchitis and sounds like shit, bless her sick little heart.
I'm 99% sure I'm taking a personal trip in September to see an old friend..... I wonder what will cum of that!?!?!?

Ok, bed time. Goodnight sweet darkness. Come wrap your arms around me tonight and hold me tight...

8.4.12

So, I've been "reminded"  by several people that I havent updated in awhile...
A lot has happened  recently...
But I'm not quite sure how I feel about posting everything.
My best friend was in a really bad car crash last weekend. She was on a breathing machine for a couple days and had major surgery because her back was crushed and her intestines ruptured. It was touch n go for a few days but she's finally out of ICU and a little more stable. She's in so much pain and it's heart breaking to see her that way. Because my chemo has been increased again, I've been getting sick and feel shitty that I cant spend more time at the hospital with her.